As everyone had heard about my stalker thing. i still havent done anything about it yet. didnt say "mind your own business" or "just get the fcuk away from me" etc etc.
why: im afraid that i will hurt his feelings.
LMAO.
lame huh
but im so ... whats the word. empathetic and sympathetic and too tender-hearted. or actually, maybe im just too weak.
like some of you guys might know, i don't like Christmas. Whenver Christmas comes, i feel sad. Because when i think of those poor Christmas trees that doesn't get pick, they are left outside in the cold while the others are being decorated. in the end, they get butchered up by turning into paper. or left to rot. what about those hobos? where do they go for Christmas ??
just today, i was in a bus stop and waiting for my bus when i saw this handicapped guy. His legs were oddly bent and his back was like totally hunched back. when i saw him lead by an older man, and tripped against a van parked on the side. I grew teary and eventually cried. when i think that these kind of people cannot get a normal body, they have to suffer so much just to get through like this every day. then i got thinking that i should quit pharmacy and help these kind of people instead. People who are blind, cannot hear, cannot walk, has trouble adjusting to society life or just plainly need someone to depend on.
i don't know where these emotions are coming from. it's not like as if i asked for it. it gets irritating sometimes. when im reading a sad novel, or watching a tragedy movie or saw something really sad happen, i always cry. or if my parents are disappointed in me, or if they lecture me of things that i had done wrong, i always cry.
what i feel under these circumstances. is like a big hole in my heart. my chest would feel painful. Hurts so much sometimes. When i try not to cry. the hole seems to me, gets bigger. and it wont go away, unless i cry.
why ?!
it makes me feel so ..... not strong. so weak-willed.
*sighs*
i cant last a month without crying at least 3 times.